- “Oh, my dear girl! If George Washington used snails instead of greyhounds to pull his sled, there'd be no trees for Honest Abe to shove from the highest mountain.”
- ―The Mayor
- “Powerpuff Girls, Townville is under attack!”
- ―The Mayor
- “That's right! I'm a fierce political creature, and I never give up the fight! Besides, I love to kiss all of those adorable babies!”
- ―The Mayor
- “It’s funny... I look back on a life of achievements. Challenges met, opponents defeated, hurdles jumped. I have accomplished more than most men, without the use of my brain. Do you know what it is that makes a man, girls?”
- ―The Mayor
- “Ms. Sara Bellum. The brains behind the man. Are you surprised by my tears? Strong men also cry. Strong men… also, cry.”
- ―The Mayor
- “I love my phone. "Hello, this is the Mayor. I’d like to order a pizza. Put it on my tab." I love the power! Ah, my wife. I love my, uh, pen. And I just love the responsibility and the active decision-making that comes with being one man in charge of an entire city! Uh, Ms. Bellum… what am I supposed to do?”
- ―The Mayor
- “I am this city Mayor.”
- ―The Mayor
- “Sweet salami, what am I gonna do?”
- ―The Mayor
- “I know, I'll call the Powerpuff Girls!”
- ―The Mayor