If I Didn't Have You is the song from the Warner Bros. 1998 animated film Quest for Camelot. It was sung by the film's two-headed tritagonists Devon and Cornwall voiced by Eric Idle and Don Rickles. The song was written by Carole Bayer Sager and David Foster.
Sequence[]
The whole sequence starts off with a bubble forming from a lava pit in front of Devon and Cornwall which split into two, containing Devon and Cornwall separately in each. Cornwall's wishes involves Cornwall using a dinosaur skeleton as an Xylophone, dancing with the rhinos, a customized living room in a dragon cave with a Television Set with Devon's head in it. Cornwall turns the TV off and Devon lifts him up high on Pride Rock (Parodying the opening scene from Disney's The Lion King), and Devon drops him back onto his chair where Cornwall throws a dart at a dartboard with Devon's head on it. Cornwall sees Devon's head forming in a Lava lamp and Cornwall grabs a dish from a volcanic pit where it has Devon's head inside, before Cornwall stuffs his mouth with an apple.
Devon and Cornwall constantly fight over with singing their verses, before a silhouette of Kayley telling them to get their act together which transitions to Devon's wishes that involves Devon dressed in a kimono from "The Mikado" and Cornwall as "The Phantom of the Opera", sculpting a statue that resembles cornwall which falls apart, becoming a silhouette with a cartoon castle and grabbing a ball which turns into Cornwall's head.
The next sequence involves Cornwall wearing a hacker mask and holding a chainsaw, tied on a log about the be sliced, Devon facing fate on a slope with a boulder rolling on it, Cornwall on trial and Devon as a judge. Devon as Godzilla, Cornwall grabbing Devon's mouth whilst they're in form of a balloon, and Devon drilling on a cliff so Cornwall will fall in style of a Wile E. Coyote cartoon. Devon putting his glove covered hand through Cornwall's head. Cornwall flirting with Red Hot Riding Hood which morphs into Devon. Devon looking in a mirror which has Cornwall in it which Devon grabs Cornwall and folds him in a egg and bounces it off in a cave which shatters, revealing an baby Devon and another egg bounces on and shatters, revealing an baby Cornwall who then fights with baby Devon as three eggs dance on screen until a cane hooks them off. Devon and Cornwall fuss over which lead part before morphing into a Picasso-style stained glass window before it morphs back to Devon and Cornwall dressed up as Sonny and Cher. The cloud of smoke transitions it to a spotlight stage with Devon and Cornwall dressed up as Elvis Presley sing the last lines before Devon socks Cornwall in the face, ending the song.
Lyrics[]
Cornwall: I'd be rockin' with the Dinos
Swingin' with the Rhinos
I'd de-dragonize this cave in a minute!
Cornwall! They would sing cuz I would be the dragon king
I would love this world without you in it!
If I Didn't Have you!
Devon: If You Didn't Have Me?!
Cornwall: If I Didn't Have You!
Devon: Well how about If I Didn't Have You, huh?
Both: Oh what I could be if there was only me
Oh what I'd do if I didn't have you!
[speech]
Kayley: Stop bickering and get your act together!
Devon: Act? Did someone say act? I can act!
If only I had separate parts
My career would be the arts
I'd be the star of Camelot
You'd be the half that the whole world forgot!
If I Didn't Have You!
Cornwall: I should be so lucky!
Devon: If I Didn't Have You!
Cornwall: Oh Wait! You'd be dead!
Both: Oh what I could be if there was only me
Oh what I'd do if I didn't have you!
Oh what I'd do If I Didn't have you!
Devon: Trapped! Oh! Trapped!
Cornwall: Stuck here with you for 500 Years!!
Devon: Oh dear, it's learned to count
Cornwall: If you'd got me a good lawyer
I would've split 400 years ago!
Devon: Now listen here pal, I didn't come here to be insulted!
Cornwall: Oh? Where do you usually go?
Devon: I'd be a fire-breathing lizard!
Cornwall: I'd be one high-flying wizard!
Devon: You'd be nothing without me!
You'd be extinct!!
You'd cease to be
Cornwall: I'm so tired of your nagging!
Devon: And I'm so tired of your bragging!
Cornwall: Ha ha without me you'd have no brain!
Both: With which to think!
Cornwall: I'd be rockin' with the Dinos
Swingin' with the Rhinos
I'd de-dragonize this cave in a minute!
Cornwall! They would sing cuz I would be the dragon king
I would love this world without you in it!
Devon: [overlapping with Cornwall's half] If only I had separate parts
My career would be the arts
I'd be the star of Camelot
I would love this world without you in it!
Both: If i didn't have you!
Chorus: If i didn't have you!
Both: If i didn't have you!
Chorus: If i didn't have you!
Yeah! Yeah, Yeah!
Devon: This way let me lead!
Chorus: Yeah! Yeah, Yeah!
Cornwall: No this way twinkle toes!
Both: Life could be so sweet, if these were both my feet!
What I'd do if I didn't have you!
Cornwall: I got you babe!
Both: Oh what I'd do if I didn't have yooooou!
Both: [impersonating Elvis Presley] Weeeell, oh if I didn't...
Oh if I didn't, have yoooou!
Cornwall: [in Elvis's voice] Thank you very much! Thank you!
Devon: [in Elvis's voice] Thank you very much. Devon has left the building.
Cornwall: [in Elvis's voice] Uh, you've never sung before, have you?
Trivia[]
- Red Hot Riding Hood from the classic Tex Avery MGM cartoons made a cameo appearance in the third verse with Cornwall before she turned into Devon's head. Given that the film Quest for Camelot was produced once Turner Entertainment (the current owners of MGM's theatrical cartoon library, including Tom and Jerry) and Time Warner have merged in 1996, hence allowing Red's cameo appearance in this film to happen.
- There are few references in the song:
- The brief reenactment of Simba's presentation from Disney's The Lion King.
- Godzilla breathing fire from the original 1954 Godzilla film.
- The "ceased to be" line from the Parrot Sketch from Monty Python's Flying Circus.
- The canyon in the style of a Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner cartoon.
- Cornwall has Jason's hockey mask from Nightmare on Elm Street.
- The boulder scene from Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost ark.
- This song is also similar to Friend Like Me from the 1992 Disney film, Aladdin.
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