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BIZARRO! SOMTHING STRANGE IS UP AT SIX FLAGS

BIZARRO! SOMETHING STRANGE IS UP AT SIX FLAGS, is an article by Lois Lane published in a special edition of the Daily Planet, meant to promote the Bizarro roller coaster at Six Flags Great Adventure.

Transcript

MYSTERIOUS LIGHTNING STRIKES TWO ROLLER COASTERS

By Lois Lane

In what can only be described as a "freak occurrence," an unexplained blot of lightning-like energy struck two Six Flags theme parks yesterday. Occurring within minutes of each other, the bolts hit both the Superman: Ride of Steel and Medusa roller coasters.

Superman Ride of Steel Hit by Lightning

Some onlookers described the coasters as being "transformed" after the "lightning" struck them.

"First I saw an enormous beam of light hit the coaster," said witness Jack Knell of Trenton, NJ. "Then, an earsplitting sound, like a tear or a rip, filled the air. When I looked back at the ride, it was pulsing like a wave of energy was moving down the track."

Angel Aristone, Spokesperson for Six Flags Great Adventure, denied that the event has transformed the coasters in any unplanned way.

"The coasters were already under re-development and are currently on schedule," said Artistone. "We are very excited to introduce these re-imagined rides to the public in May, 2009."

Medusa Strike Caught on Camera

In both cases, the incident could be seen miles away, and witnesses gave similar reports of a "giant laser-beam" or "massive oval of energy in the sky."

The event began at 10:21pm at Six Flags Great Adventure in Jackson, NJ. Eyewitness Dirk Kressler, 43, called 911 immediately after seeing a "focused yellowish beam" hit the Medusa roller coaster. "It looked like a major explosion. There was smoke and what felt like an electrical charge in the air."

At the same time, calls began streaming in to police and fire stations around Awagam, MA, home fo Six Flags New England.

"We must have received over 30 calls in the space of a few minutes," said the Agawam Police Chief. Fortunately, no injuries were reported at either location.

Melissa Pinkerton, Six Flags New England Spokesperson, stated that the company is investigating the incidents, but assures the public that both parks will open as scheduled for the season.

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